300th Edition: The Future DW Week in Review

Here at DW World Headquarters, we’re looking for any excuse to celebrate. So it should come as no surprise that we’re popping Vodka Cocktails and aggressively patting ourselves on the back for sending the 300th edition of the DW Week in Review today.

Ever since the first edition hit inboxes way back in 2019, we’ve been a trusted source of news on beer, cheese, fun events, unusual occurrences, quirky roadside attractions and, of course, giant snakes on the loose in Wisconsin.

And, as gratifying as it is to pay tribute to this momentous milestone, we must ignore the advice of 80’s synthpop duo, The System, and disturb this groove by addressing the question on everybody’s mind in these futuristic times: Will the Drink Wisconsinbly Week in Review Editorial Board be replaced by Artificial Intelligence?

The short answer is no. While it is true that the DW Editorial Board is moody, loud, stubborn, antagonistic, occasionally rude, poorly groomed, and notorious for missing deadlines, honoring the craft of writing is simply too important here at Drink Wisconsinbly.

Each week, a fresh sheet of paper is rolled into the typewriter, a glass of Brandy is poured, and the journey of writing a new Drink Wisconsinbly Week in Review begins. Several hours later, once the page is full and the glass emptied, another handmade article is fit to print on Saturday morning. A computer cannot understand that commitment to craftsmanship, no matter how many silicon chips and flashing doodads are inside.

It’s true that we don’t really know much of anything about this whole “AI” business. From what we’ve been able to glean from TV commercials, its primary uses are having simple directions for simple tasks read aloud to you, aiding in half-assing work or school projects, shirking responsibilities as a parent, and deceiving prospective mates in pursuit of sexual conquest, by appearing knowledgable in fields you know nothing about.

Sadly, AI has quietly begun to worm its way into the editorial board’s life, too. One day, out of nowhere, our phones began summarizing text messages, taking them down from a bloated 16 words to a lean, efficient nine, which, admittedly, is a real timesaver. Over the course of a week, that frees up a good 17 seconds of leisure time to use as we please.

There is probably a longer answer to whether Drink Wisconsinbly’s weekly content production will be automated in the future that we are not privy to, involving spreadsheets, graphs, trends, and the whims of the DW C-suite after a three-martini lunch but, for now, we are comfortable saying this:

Breathe easy, gentle reader; no machine will ever replace the Drink Wisconsinbly Week in Review Editorial Board.

Probably.