A Day on the Trollway in Mount Horeb

Did you know that Wisconsin is home to the Troll Capital of the World? Mount Horeb is dotted with dozens of handmade troll sculptures. Each is a unique work of art. And this cluster of Scandinavian culture, known as the Trollway, presents the perfect opportunity for what Wisconsinites to do best: go on a Saturday bar crawl. But with trolls instead of bars.

Just imagine it: You round up your good-time friends and begin the day outside the Mount Horeb Welcome Center. It feels a little early to be looking at your first troll, but you don’t have work until Monday, and the energy with your crew is palpable. It goes down easy. Too easy. You step inside. The next thing you know, you’re on your sixth troll and rounding into form. A friend turns on some Norwegian folk music as you head to the next stop, and you can’t help but sing along.

The group makes its way down Main Street and knocks back a few more cool trolls along the way. You turn onto Grove Street and stop at the Sunniva Inn. You realize you’re now taking in two trolls at once. And the ones you saw earlier are really taking hold. You’re suddenly overcome with a craving for pickled herring.

The rolling party marches toward 2nd Avenue. Somebody from another troll crawl catches your eye. You try to flirt, but you’re not speaking in complete sentences at this point.

Progress is beginning to slow, but you’re riding high. You’ve seen so many trolls today that they’ve begun to blur together. Some old ladies gasp when you share some off-color Ole and Lina jokes a little too loudly.

Everybody is retelling old stories and laughing. You start taking group photos. The trolls are the only ones who manage to keep their eyes open. You call your ex, who’s not happy to hear from you and isn’t interested in meeting up later.

Wait, is that troll riding a bike or are you just seeing things?

You begin pulling your friends close and telling them how much they mean to you. You don’t need another troll, but have one anyway. Things are really hazy now. You look around and realize that everybody you know is gone. Who were you just talking to? You’re pretty sure you told them you love them.

It’s late now. You’re somehow still standing after more than 40 trolls, though. You consider finding an all-night smörgåsbord but realize that’s Swedish and not Norwegian. And you’d probably fall asleep in your revbensspjäll if you went there anyway. It’s clear that it’s time to head home and go to bed, with fond yet hazy memories of your epic Mount Horeb troll crawl.