Exploding Trees: A Drink Wisconsinbly Investigation

Recently, during our designated break time, the Drink Wisconsinbly Week in Review Editorial Board decided to explore the popular Internet in search of interesting content. That’s when we came across a story that has captivated the nation during the recent cold snap. It seems that extremely low temperatures can make trees explode. Needless to say, we were intrigued.

After watching a few more clips of arboreal detonation for cheap thrills, we then rolled up our sleeves, furrowed our brows, and went looking for answers.

According to the Wisconsin DNR, the “explosions” are a natural event known as frost cracks. These cracks run the length of the tree and make a loud bang as the tree splits. The sap inside a tree freezes at a lower temperature than water, but when it finally freezes, it expands rapidly, and the tree can pop. That pressure change typically only affects branches; it’s extremely rare for a whole tree to go kablamo.

So, you can classify those as explosions if you like, but for our money, a proper explosion needs a cloud of billowing flames at a minimum. And, in a perfect world, a couple of low-level henchmen should be sent flying by the blast and land in a marsh or sewage reservoir. Failing that, there should be a lone hero coolly walking away without so much as a glance over his shoulder at the carnage unfolding behind him.

Your definition of an explosion may be different, and that’s okay. There is room for healthy debate on the subject. But we can all agree that seeing stuff blown to bits is awesome.